5 months countdown

Life is unpredictable, some needs patient, some need self-defense and some also need hate! Why i cannot hate people or things that i dont like to see or hear or even say it! I need a change maybe to be more arrogant and ..uuwwww am i bad ? I have tolerate with many people, be kind to people, since i am 5 years old, i am a good friend but almost everyone jealous to me because i am a teacher’s beloved. So, they dont like to help me while they ask for my help. okay, when i growing, people be kind to you because they need something from u that gives them benefit. Oh my god, don’t ask me to tolerate with people .. and i also don’t know how to do it.

It is good people say it i don’t deserve to won, yes it makes me feel down, i admit it.. I just think to be good , kind , nice and soooo perfectly clear. But stop ridiculuos , people change or you may be hate yourself for what people had think of you or even said to you. I am just fine with myself.maybe i am not. So, i am looking forward to improve my routine to the healthy life, i need priority to be rearrange. Now i am focusing on career, what i will be in 5 years . actually i want to be someone in 2 years .

So , i had my mind.. i make target to give my ability and skill to the IT field, but for the reason of lack of experience and budget and also labor, maybe i’ll go for a stable field, as long it is a guarantee to support my life for this time being. okay today is 12 jan 2011, i only seek for a job until may, when time is up, i will change my mind, i ‘ll go for master. maybe there’s another oppportunity there. insyallah.. but i have another 4@ 5 months to work out.. Please pray for me

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